Does a big, fat, raw steak really help a black eye? Not really...

If you’re unlucky enough to wind up with a shiner – skip the raw steak and grab some peas instead... 

Here’s a better black eye protocol:

• Get the ice! You want to apply that ASAP to reduce swelling and numb the pain. A bag of frozen peas is perfect for the job. That will take the shape of and soothe your shiner.

• You’ll need to thoroughly clean the area and any broken skin to prevent infection.

• Do NOT apply pressure. Your eye has suffered a trauma – be gentle with the ice and cleaning.

• Buy sunglasses you REALLY like. Typically, a black eye won’t completely fade away for a couple of weeks.

Because you’re bound to be asked about your black eye wherever you go – you might as well have some fun with it. Come up with a few exciting or unusual stories to impress your friends – or jot down the real story and hand it out when you’re tired of telling it.