Some people just let everything spill right out. With others, it may take some finessing to get them to open up...
Judy Kuriansky, author of “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to a Healthy Relationship,” has a few techniques that can really build trust and help someone feel comfortable confiding in you:
• Ask questions: To avoid coming on too strong – start talking about the subject you’re interested in to get a feel for the other person’s comfort zone. It’s also okay to ask the person permission first. Is it okay if we confide in each other? That way, they’re not blindsided by your question.
• Confide in them: Letting the other person know you trust them with personal information about yourself will help them feel more comfortable sharing with you.
• Listen well: Resist the urge to share your own similar stories when someone confides in you. Those interruptions cut the other person off. Hear them out and treat their situation as unique unless they specifically ask about your experiences.
• Don’t spill the beans: In order to gain the trust of another person – it’s critical that you don’t share other people’s secrets with them. That’s a big red flag that their secrets won’t be safe with you.
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