Marriage Don'ts

Do you ever nag your spouse or partner?

According to Rita DeMaria, author of “The 7 Stages of Marriage,” the answer to that one should be “I don’t.” It’s important to voice concerns, but complaining long and loud just builds discontent. Here are a few more marriage don’ts:

• Blaming, criticizing and name-calling don’t exactly go hand in hand with love, honor and cherish.

• Bullying, rudeness and selfishness are ugly power plays that tell your partner that he or she doesn’t count in your eyes.

• Peacekeeping or passive placating may keep things quiet – but that “whatever you say, Dear” attitude just puts you in martyr’s role – and will likely leave you feeling angry.

• Don’t get too logical. Your marriage isn’t the starship Enterprise. Playing Dr. Spock cuts you and your partner off from real feelings.

• Just kidding – too much fooling around is often an attempt to avoid difficult issues which can be really frustrating for the other person.

• Stonewalling stops arguments and constructive discussions cold. If one person shuts down – nothing will be solved.

• Making big decisions on your own that involve your money, time or kids can take a big toll on intimacy. Nobody likes to feel blindsided or powerless.