Now that you’re grown up, should you confront the bully from your childhood?

It’s a lot easier to find someone from the past these days - but it doesn’t mean you should.

 

Duke psychiatry professor William E. Copeland, a psychiatry professor at Duke University Medical Center says it’s not unusual for adults who were victims as kids to fantasize about or even consider confronting that bully today. But the doctor also says that’s NOT a wise idea. He says children who are true bullies generally do not become great people as adults. Your odds of having a positive encounter are slim and you would likely be putting yourself at risk all over again.


If you’ve just got to get something off your chest regarding that childhood bully, it can help to write them a letter - just don’t send it. While it can be therapeutic to get those negative experiences and emotions out of your gut and down on paper, do that for yourself, not for the bully. A true bully will often either deny their actions, have no recollection or just not care. In some cases, they may even relish your continued attention.