Smoker's Best Friend

If someone you love is a smoker – you probably want them to quit...

Here is a list of things NOT to say:

• “You’ll get cancer.” Pointing out the obvious risks suggests they are ignorant or stupid.  Smokers already know the risks. Your warnings are akin to the buzz of a mosquito and they’re likely to push you away or tune you out.

• “Smoking is disgusting. I don’t know why you don’t quit.” Insults don’t work either. You probably DO know why they haven’t quit – they’re addicted.

• “Do you want the kids to see you smoking?” Shame is another non-productive approach. Most smokers are already ashamed of their dependence whether they admit it or not. The same goes for fear - they're already there.


• “If you loved me, you’d quit.” Guilt doesn’t work with addiction. Making someone feel guilty or bad about themselves can lead to resentment, and that next cigarette is just waiting to make them feel better.

Many smokers liken their cigarettes to a (worst) best friend.  If someone were going to lose their best friend - how would you prepare them?  Now, here are some things you should say or do to help:

• Take up an activity to get healthy together. Smoking gets in the way of things like dancing, golf or tennis. The activity can do the talking for you.

• Offer rewards. A positive challenge with a fun payoff can work with some smokers. If they can go a full day without smoking – a night out or favorite meal may be in order.

Ask a smoker if they wish they could be a non-smoker. If the answer is yes, remind them of some of the simple pleasures they'll have to look forward to, such as extra money, smelling and feeling fresh and less restrictions.  If the answer is no, it's a problem.  Wanting to quit is THE most important element. Quitting for you, the doctor or even the kids often doesn’t last.