Most people hate to argue, while some seem to relish it.
Either way, there is a right and wrong way to do it. Marriage and family therapist Kurt Smith has some surefire ways to LOSE that next argument.
• Yell. When we lose control of our volume, we’ve also lost control of our emotions. Keeping your voice at a moderate level volume, or even dropping it down a bit, can have a calming effect on a potentially escalating situation.
• Change the subject. Focus on the issue at hand and get it resolved.
• Blame the other person. If you refuse to accept responsibility, you’ll just add fuel to the fire. Acknowledge your role in the conflict. If you’re responsible, apologize and take the loss.
• Bring up past mistakes. Holding on to hurt and letting it become a grudge gives the other person no chance and you’ll lose in the end.
• Launch Personal Attacks. When you focus on the other person’s character rather than the issue you’re disagreeing about, you’re disrespecting them, not disagreeing with them.
• Correct Their Grammar. When all else fails, it’s tempting to resort to something really petty. It rings of desperation and you’ve lost the real argument.
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