When Working Isn't Working

If your relationship is on the rocks, working at it might not be working at all...

You've probably heard in order to have a happy relationship, you have to work at it. But according to Homer McDonald, author of Stop Your Divorce, all that work can be just the thing that makes it NOT work. His advice is to stop all that working. When we work too hard on a relationship, we put pressure on each other to make the other person happy, and pressure usually doesn't feel good. Here are a few more things to stop doing in order to start turning things around:

Stop calling, or texting. Return calls are fine, but even then, try to keep it under 10 minutes. You'll come across as less dependent or controlling if you avoid overdoing it on the phone.

Stop asking questions. How are you feeling about things? Why did you do that? These inquisitions often put the other person on the defensive.

Stop talking. At least avoid the serious talks. Often, the more serious talking you do, the worse the situation gets because you attack each other's pride and become more defensive. Stick to small talk and happy talk, it takes the pressure off.