Some of the encouraging things we say to our kids could be doing more harm than good....

Sooner or later, most parents will say something to their child they probably shouldn’t... 

Amy McCready, author of “If I Have to Tell You One More Time” and psychotherapist Jenn Berman have a list of phrases to avoid: 

1. "I know you can try harder." Any comment that makes it seem as though you’re not satisfied with her efforts can not only be discouraging to your child, it can also do the opposite of motivating her to try harder.

2. "Are you sure you need that second cupcake?" Talk like that might foster a negative body image. If you’re worried about what your child eats, use actions, not words. Stock your kitchen with healthy foods instead of junk and emphasize family physical activity like after-dinner walks. 

3. "Why can’t you be more like your sister/brother?" Siblings and rivalry go hand in hand—and anything you say that sets up comparisons only fuels that natural flame.

4. "Don’t worry—the first day of school will be fine." When you tell your child not to worry, you’re dismissing her feelings. The same goes for “Don’t cry” and “Don’t be angry.” Instead, say, “I can see you’re worried. Can you tell me what you’re most concerned about, so we can talk about it?” 

5. "I wish you didn’t hang out with Jack; I don’t like that kid." Yeah, a lot of parents don’t like “that kid,” for whatever reason - but the moment you tell your child that ‘that kid’ is not your favorite, he becomes more appealing.